Like Before
by Vickatronic
Summary: This is a story about Zoe and Max and the fall out after the revelation at the wedding that Zoe had cheated. It's set 6 weeks or so after the wedding. Dylan will feature heavily. He's staying in the Zax flat. WARNING: THE FINAL CHAPTER IS A BIT SMUTTY
1. Chapter 1 - Dedicated to Amber

She heard his bare feet padding against the cold tiles of the kitchen floor as he filled and clicked the kettle on to boil.  
Since Zoe had taken up residence on the couch she'd been careful to get up and dressed before Dylan emerged from the spare room each morning but today she'd overslept. Knowing that as soon as he turned around he'd see her she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.

"I know you're not asleep" he murmured, sitting on the couch next to her feet. "In the doghouse are we?" he teased before he noticed how upset his best friend was.

"He's not touched me since the wedding Dylan". Her eyes were sparkling with tears but they didn't fall. "I don't know what to do."

"I had no idea things were this bad Zoe. I guess all you can do is keep trying to talk to him. I'll go out tonight, it can't be helping having me here all the time. Cook him dinner, put on an outfit he likes you in."

"I don't think it's as simple as that..."

"It's not but that's a start."

She heard Max get up a little while later. She made her way through to what was formerly their bedroom and knocked on the door, entering without waiting on a response. "Max, I was going to make us dinner tonight. Is there anything in particular you fancy?"

"Just whatever,I'm not fussed." He didn't even look in her direction as he answered, busying himself sorting out his clothes for the day. Seeing him standing there in his boxers was making Zoe long to be able to touch him but she knew that it would end in rejection and she couldn't face that. "Was that all you wanted Zo, only I have to get ready for work?" He was exasperated just by her very presence and the impatience in his voice cut through her.

"There was one other thing, I'm off today, would you mind if I had a sleep in the bed?"

"It's a free country" was his response as he gestured towards the bed, picked his clothes up and left the room to get changed.

She slipped under the covers and smell of him was simultaneously comforting and distressing. She drifted in and out of unsettled sleep, filled with dreams of happier times. Waking up at 10am, the longest she'd slept in a while, she got up to get to work, cleaning the flat, food shopping and then sprucing herself up on Dylan's suggestion. She dug out her favourite little black dress and hot pink heels combo, pulled her hair back away from her face and applied exaggerated eye make up. In their happier days the chances of them getting as far as eating dinner when she was dressed like this was unlikely, so she hoped it would still have a similar effect on Max.

Their dinner was nearly ready by 7.15pm but there was still no sign of Max. Dread was the feeling rising through Zoe's body as she sat at the dining table sipping her wine. Everyone thought she was strong and hard as nails but she was seriously doubting how she was going to cope if tonight didn't come off.

After the longest 10 minutes of her life she heard the familiar sound of Max's keys in the front door. "Sorry I'm late!" he called through the flat as he hung his coat up. "' got a last minute call to take a patient to CT."

"It's fine, do you want a drink?" She stood up to get him a glass without waiting for a response and could see his eyes watching her as she did so.

"Wow, Zo, you look amazing." She smiled with her back to him, feeling almost devious that her plan was so far working.

"This old thing…" turning around with a knowing grin on her face.

He averted her gaze, what she did the night before their wedding was still hurting him, "Zoe, I'm not sure I can do this."

"Let's just have dinner and talk, we don't have to do anything."

"I want to, it's just every time I think about touching you I can't stop imagining "him" and I don't even know who he was but I can picture it in my head…"

"Max, honestly I was so drunk I don't even remember it, I don't know what it felt like or if I even felt anything. But I remember what you feel like and how I feel when you kiss me and touch me and when you're inside me. That's all I think about. Not him or anyone else I've been with. I just want you." The tears were starting to build up in her eyes once more and not wanting to ruin her make up she got up and busied herself serving their dinner. 

Once they were eating and drinking the conversation started to flow like the old days, gossiping about their colleagues and bitching about Connie. The wine kept coming long after they had finished eating and had moved to the sofa.

A gap in conversation presented itself and Zoe placed her wine glass down and lent in to kiss her husband for the first time since she got home from hospital. He responded shyly at first, his lips gently brushing against hers, before slowly deepening the kiss. She moved to start unbuttoning his shirt and he suddenly stood up pushing her away.

"I'm sorry Zoe, I can't do this, I thought I could but I just can't." He could see the pain of the past few weeks etched on her face but he couldn't help how he was feeling. Rationally he knew he was being ridiculous - she made a mistake, apologized and had definitely been more than adequately punished - but the hurt of that moment when he found out just wouldn't leave him.

"Max, please could we just try?" She was crying now, suffocating under the pain of having to beg her husband to touch her.

" I'm sorry Zo, I really am, I just can't."

She struggled to her feet, the alcohol, and hurt, having a combined effect on her balance. She stumbled across the room and grabbed her handbag and headed for the door. "Zoe! Don't do this..." he called desperately after her.

"Make me stay" was her steely response looking back at him. His head dropped into his hands and she opened the door and didn't look back.


	2. Chapter 2

Thankfully she managed to hail a taxi not far from the flat because as her friend Linda had joked before, these shoes were not made for walking. "Where to miss?" the polite driver asked as Zoe slipped into the backseat.

"Faith nightclub please" she responded. "Actually it's a bit early, that wine bar just around the corner from it".

As soon as she got to the bar she was surrounded by men vying for her attention but that wasn't what she was here for - she just wanted to get hammered, so drunk that, for a few hours at least, all this would disappear. It didn't stop her letting these guys but her drinks to help her on her way of course.

"Right, thanks Dixie, I'll let them know. See you when you get here." Connie put the phone down and quickly gathered her night shift team of Cal, Lily, Dylan, who had volunteered to cover a shift, and the senior nurse Rita.

"Ok everyone, I'll keep this brief. Dixie has called to say we have one of our own on their way in. Zoe was found in a bad way in a nightclub. She's very intoxicated, queried broken ankle and has suffered a bang to the head. Obviously we want to protect her privacy as much as we can especially from our junior colleagues. Dylan I'll let you lead on this case and Lily to assist if necessary, ETA 5 minutes."

"Right, this is Zoe Walker, 41, suffered a fall in a nightclub, suspected broken ankle and hit her head on the way down, neck and spine cleared at scene. GCS was 15 on arrival, she then became combative and lost consciousness in the ambo. GCS now 12. She's vomited twice on the way in, suction was required to maintain airway. We established IV access at the scene and she's had 500 of saline and dextrose."

"Thanks Dixie" was Rita's professional response.

"Eh bay 3 please" Dylan mumbled as they wheeled her into resus.

"Right on my count guys, 1, 2, 3." Dixie stepped back as her colleagues got to work before remembering, "before I go, she asked us not to phone Max."

"Thank you Dixie, we can take it from here" was all Dylan had to say on the matter.

"Max will be worried" Rita pointed out.

"Zoe is our patient and we must respect her wishes. Right, now I need routine bloods, A, B, C's, U's and E's, glucose and tox screen. Could I also get an LFT? And someone phone CT and let them know we have one of our own coming up for a head scan!"

Meanwhile back at the flat Max woke up with a start finding himself lying on the sofa. He wondered what had woken him as he checked his phone to find no messages. It was 3.30am, the clubs would have kicked out half an hour ago. He searched the flat in case it was Zoe's arrival home that had awoken him. Each room was empty and he was slightly worried but the overriding feeling was anger. She'd gone out to to sleep with someone else, he could feel it and he couldn't believe he'd been so stupid to believe it was a one off. Every time they fought or went through a rough patch he couldn't help thinking that this would be her coping mechanism. It always had been in the past and he was beginning to realise he'd been naive to think that she could change. On that realisation he marched to bed, slamming the bedroom door harder than he intended to and flopped into the bed, defeated.

"Dylan, CT was clear and Zoe's slightly more responsive. Just waiting on X-Ray to get back to us." Rita had approached him where he had been reading over another patient's notes.

"Great, thanks."

"She's been asking for you."

"OK, I'll just head through in a second."

Dylan hot footed it into resus. Rita had never seen him respond so quickly to a patient's whim to see him that wasn't life or death. What she didn't realise was just how close Zoe and Dylan were but also the fact that he blamed himself for this whole situation.

"Dylan!" She was hoarse but the sight of her best friend had helped Zoe find her voice. She reached out and grabbed his hand as soon as he was close enough to the bed.

"Rita, could you give us a minute." It was an instruction rather than a question and Rita scurried away with a bee in her bonnet. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson after a night on the lash" was her witty response.

"What happened Zoe?"

"I don't really remember, one minute I was dancing with some guys and I guess I must have gone over my ankle or something…"

"No, I meant with Max" he interrupted her.

"Oh… that… I kissed him and then I naturally started trying to take things further and he rejected me. He basically threw me off like he was repulsed by the idea." The tears that had been threatening to spill out for most of the night were getting dangerously close to falling now.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, you weren't the one who cheated on him and besides when you made the comment about telling him, I could've lied, I could've brushed it off. I honestly thought telling him would mean we could move on but we can't."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know… I really don't know. Anyway what's the damage?"

"Well your head CT is clear, just a nasty bump so you're staying put for a while for obs, your ankle was suspected broken by the paramedics but it looks ok now, possibly a bad sprain, I'm just waiting on x-ray. Something I need to speak to you about though is your blood test results. There wasn't just alcohol in your system."

"I know Dylan, it's not a problem. Don't worry."

"Is the diazepam recreational or prescribed?"

"Since the wedding and everything I wasn't coping so I was prescribed it short term, I've not been taking it for the past couple of weeks but tonight I found some in my bag and took a bit more than I should have done."

He squeezed her hand gently. "I'm always here if you need me."

"Thanks, I don't suppose there's any chance of getting out for a fag is there?"

"NO" was his aminated response as he got up to leave resus.

"Dylan!" He stopped in his tracks noticing the serious tone of her voice and turned to face her.

"Could you call Max for me?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Urgh, hello…." Max answered his phone without fully waking up or checking the caller ID.

"Max? It's Dylan at the ED."

"What time is it? Am I late?"

"No, Max, it's 5.15am, I'm calling about Zoe. She's ok, but she was brought in last night after a fall and she's been asking for you."

"I'm due in at 7am, I'll come and see her then."

"Are you sure you couldn't get here any sooner than that?"

"I'll be in for my shift." He ended the call and Dylan stood holding the phone wondering how to tell Zoe. He hated seeing his best friend hurting when he was at least partly responsible.

"Rita, has anyone called Max?" Zoe called across resus to get the nurse's attention on her way out of the room.

"Yeah, Dylan was just calling him when I left him a couple of minutes ago."

"Thanks." The consultant managed a weak smile from her hospital bed.

Rita passed Dylan on her way to the relatives room to get someone for her other patient in resus. "Oh Dylan! Zoe wanted to know if you'd called Max. I told her you were just doing it."

The doctor didn't respond to Rita, she just rolled her eyes and put it down to Dylan's lack of people skills, not realising that Dylan was still worrying about how to explain to Zoe that her husband was making no effort to come in to see her. He soon realised he didn't need to explain, as soon as he walked back into resus and Zoe saw his face she knew.

"He's not coming, is he?"

"He's starting his shift at 7am and he said he'd come and see you then. It's only in a couple of hours."

His attempt at comforting words did nothing to stop the tears falling and eventually Zoe succumbed to the sobs that were now taking over her body. "I love him Dylan, I really love him."

"I know." He stroked her hair and let her cry.

"What am I going to do?"

"I know this isn't what you want to hear but I don't think there's anything you can do."

She dissolved into convulsing sobs while Dylan got up to give her some privacy with her grief.

"Please don't leave me…" she managed between sobs.

He bent over and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I have to go and see some patients Zoe but I'll come back." He squeezed her hand gently and walked out of the room, her sobs following him as he went.

Max couldn't fall asleep after Dylan's call but he wasn't going to go running. He knew Zoe's pattern, she hadn't got what she wanted so she threw a strop, went out and got bladdered and hurt herself. She was like an 18 year old and he wasn't going her lap dog. He knew that he'd been harsh and that the mistake she'd made on the night before their wedding was hurting her as much, if not more than, him but he couldn't help how he felt every time he looked at her. All he could think about was that betrayal, the thought of her with another man, maybe enjoying herself more than she did with him. He knew it was a macho thing, he couldn't bare the idea that he wasn't enough for her.

Arriving for work at 6.50am he knew he should go and see her, almost to get it out of the way but he wasn't sure if he could face it. Unfortunately for him as soon as he approached the building he was hounded by Rita, "Zoe has been asking for you."

"Thanks mate, I'm just on my way" was all he could manage by way of response.

They had been keeping their marital problems very private, not even Robyn knew, only Dylan and he wasn't exactly known for gossiping.

Max made his way in to the building via reception. The night shift receptionist recognised him immediately as he came in the door.

"Max, Zoe is in cubicle 5. She's been asking for you."

"So I'd heard, thanks mate." He managed a smiled for the woman who was always a friendly face on night shift.

Sliding open the curtain he slowly peeked around it to see the woman he had married lying in the hospital bed, bruised and tear stained. Guilt crept up inside him, unable to shift the thoughts that this was his fault. If he'd made her stay she wouldn't be lying here.

"Hey! You came." She reached out for him and he let her take his hand. "It's not what you think by the way, I just needed to forget, I didn't go out to cheat."

"I know. Shh we don't have to talk about that now" he soothed her.

"We do Max, I know you don't trust me but I know you still love me, somewhere, deep down."

"Zoe, stop, please. I came to see how you were, not to have this conversation."

"I'm better now you're here." She managed a weak smile but that soon faded from her when she saw the darkened expression and furrowed brow of her husband.

"I'm moving out. It's not fair on you, me being there."

"Please don't do this" was all she managed to get out before he was gone, leaving her once again to the mercy of her sobs.


	4. Chapter 4

"Right, come on you I'm..." Dylan pulled back the curtain on Zoe's cubicle to find her gone.

"Has anyone seen Dr Hanna?" The question, directed to anyone in the vicinity, was answered by the shrugging of shoulders. From the looks of the hospital gown discarded on the bed she'd left but he knew she wouldn't get far on that sprained ankle.  
Sure enough he found her leaning on the wall by the exit inhaling deeply on a cigarette as if it was giving her life.

"Come on then, lets get you home." She didn't even look up, just stared vacantly at the smoke rising from her mouth.

"He's leaving me Dylan." She'd barely managed to get the words out and she knew it had been barely audible but she crumpled under the weight of the realization. As the sobs took control of her body once more Dylan pulled her close and held her tightly. He was totally out of his depth and had no idea what he could do to help.  
"He's leaving me." She repeated several times between sobs as they stood in an embrace.  
"Let's get you back to the flat, I'll make us breakfast then maybe we can get some sleep.", he gently pushed her off his chest and helped her into his Land Rover.

They sat in silence only interrupted by intermittent muffled sobs from the passenger seat.

Dylan had seen Zoe in some states but he couldn't ever remember seeing her, or anyone else, so broken.

Dylan got Zoe into the flat and comfortable on the sofa before heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

"How about bacon rolls?" he called over.

"I'm not hungry" was her cold response.

"You have to eat, Zoe."

She didn't even respond, just stared in to space, the odd tear trickling down her cheek.

She barely touched her food or had a word to say as Dylan sat opposite her, feeling awkward and at a total loss as to what to do. Finally the silence was broken by Zoe announcing she was going for a bath.

"Good idea, you'll feel better after a nice soak. I'm going to get some sleep but just come through if you need me."

The hot water and bubbles did nothing to ease Zoe's discomfort but it made her tired. She couldn't face sleeping on her own so she slipped on her nightie and quietly entered the guest room. Dylan was sound asleep so she tip toed around the bed, pulled up the duvet and gently crawled in beside him. The movement caused him to stir a little but not fully wake as she sidled up to him and cuddled him, drifting off into a deep sleep.

When Dylan woke it took him a while to work out where he was and who the woman was that had her hand resting on his bare stomach. Normally he would not have been best pleased to wake up and find Zoe in his bed but he understood that this was probably the only way she was going to get some sleep and now he had to work out how to get up without waking her. He started by gently lifting her arm and letting it drape down by her own side, then he slowly shimmied to the edge of the bed, swung his feet round and stood up. He made sure to adjust the duvet around her to keep her warm and he quietly left the room. Shortly afterwards she woke with a start. She hadn't slept so deeply since she'd stopped sharing a bed with Max and she was grateful to Dylan for being there for her. Unfortunately she wasn't awake long before the dark thoughts started to overpower her and Dylan heard her sobs growing in intensity from the kitchen.

"Max, hello, it's Dylan here. Look I know that this is the last thing that you want right now but please hear me out."

"Ok…" Dylan could hear the noise from the pub in the background. Max couldn't be long finished his shift.

"It's Zoe, I know she did something terrible to you, I get that, possibly more than you'll ever know.."

"Yeah, enough of the man to man bonding, what is it that you want?" Max interrupted, growing impatient with the conversation.

"Right, so Zoe is really in a bad way, I've not been able to comfort her. She just keeps repeating that you're leaving her. She keeps sobbing until she can't breathe or is on the verge of vomitting and I really think you two need to sort this out. You loved her once."

"Yeah Dylan, I did. I really did. That's why I have to leave. She'll get over this, yeah she'll be a mess for a few days and I'm sorry that it's landed on you to deal with it but this is better for both of us long term. I'll be over for my stuff in about an hour. Gotta go."

And just like that he was gone and Dylan was once again completely helpless. It reminded him a lot of his mother after his father left. He couldn't do anything then and he blamed himself there too.

Max arrived with a bag over his shoulder to collect his belongings. Zoe was nowhere to be seen so he quickly sorted through his wardrobe and drawers, throwing most stuff in his bag and leaving a small pile of things on their bed, the things that Zoe had bought him over the course of their relationship, a jumper, aftershave, cuff links etc and of course his wedding ring.

He took a quick look around the flat for the odd CD or book that he'd left lying around and then he went to check the bathroom for his toiletries. As he pushed open the door there was something behind it stopping it from opening fully. He squeezed himself through the gap and immediately saw what it was. A lifeless Zoe. His heart stopped for a split second. He couldn't help but thinking this was all his fault.

"Dylan! Dylan! In here. I need help." he shouted through the flat.

He pulled Zoe away from behind the door so that the other man could get in. Her lips had a blue tinge to them as Dylan checked her pulse.

"Max, call an ambulance. She does have a pulse but she's bradycardic and her respiratory effort is poor."

"Ambulance please… Here Dylan, you speak to them, you'll know what to say" Max said as he thrust the phone at Dylan after giving the address.

"Hello there, I'm a consultant, we have a 41 year old female, queried Diazepam OD. She's bradycardic, unresponsive, resps are very low. No, she's not been drinking, hasn't really been eating so may also be hypoglycaemic. I'm not sure how long she's been like this but can't be more than say 30mins."

"Diazepam?"

"Yes, since things went pear shaped between you two she'd been using them to cope with the stress of that and work on top of everything else. The last couple of days she's just been a bit heavy handed with them."

"Hi Dixie, she's through here." Max led Dixie and her technician through to the bathroom.

"Twice in two days, you have been in the wars Dr Zo" was Dixie's greeting to the unconscious doctor.

"I don't think she can hear you" was Dylan's serious response.

"Charming as ever." Dixie rolled her eyes at Max as she got the oxygen mask on Zoe.

"Right lads, I'm going to need to get her on a stretcher, Max do you maybe have some warm pyjamas or something I can put on her?" Zoe was only wearing her nighty that was riding up somewhat since she'd been moved on the bathroom floor.

"Yeah, sure, I'll just.." And he was gone looking for some clothes for her with his hand running through the hair on the back of his head. 

"Right, can we get her into cubicles please?" Connie's authoritarian voice rang out through the department. "15 minute obs please Nurse Freeman, she'll just need to sleep it off. Her vital signs have improved enroute, responding well to oxygen and fluids but if anything changes you know what to do. We only expect her to have taken about 6 tablets max. The empty strip was lying next to her."

"Can I go with her?" Max asked as they pushed her towards the cubicle she had left only hours before.

"Of course, you're her husband. Dylan, a word please." He was dreading this conversation with the boss. Entering her office he knew he would have to be very careful what he said.

"Do I need to get psych down here?" was her opening question.

"What are you asking me Connie? If I think this was a suicide attempt? No I don't. I think this was a very unhappy woman, who I've spent the day trying to comfort, just needing a break from those feelings for a while. She's barely eaten or drank any water all day and the pills just hit her like a ton of bricks."

"Why is she so unhappy though? She's a newlywed, she's got her friends and family and a job she loves."

"It's not my place but all is not what it seems between her and Max."

"Do I need to call security?"

"No he'd never hurt her. I'm sure if you asked her she'd tell you what's going on but it's not my place." He legged it out of the office before any more questions could be asked. 

"Max?" Zoe's eyes had opened to find Max asleep in the chair next to her bed.

"Hey!" He reached out for her hand and squeezed it gently.

"What happened? Why am I back here?"

"You went a bit overboard on the pills. You had us all really worried."

"I'm sorry, I was just going to take them then go to bed. I guess I didn't get that far huh?"

"Zoe, I'm sorry. Seeing you lying there made me realise something. I can't lose you."


	5. Chapter 5

**WARNING: This chapter is a little smutty! Do not read if you are likely to be offended by that.**

"I love you Max. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that."

"Shhh, don't stress yourself out." He gently kissed her on the lips and it wasn't long before he had deepened the kiss, their tongues teasing each other and both of them letting out soft moans. For the first time since their wedding day went wrong Max ached for her touch. He knew he'd been kidding himself when he thought he could move on. He wanted her and was really struggling to resist consummating their marriage on the hospital bed where he was now lying with his wife. The sounds of the cubicle curtain opening broke them apart and Max got off the bed, blushing and trying to disguise how aroused he was. Zoe's giggling as Max turned away from the visitor to the cubicle did little to conceal what was happening.

"Zoe, I've spoken to Dylan, he's let me know that this was an accident." Ever the professional Connie was pretending that she hadn't seen anything untoward. "I will still need to ask you a few questions about it or I could get someone you don't know to come and do it?"

"No, no, Connie it's fine. Max could you go and get me a bottle of water and something to eat from the shop?"

Max got the hint and quickly headed out of the cubicle to allow Connie to begin her questioning.

"Remember anything you say is completely confidential. So I have to ask, have you been thinking about suicide?"

"As a hypothetical, yes, as a plan or something I want to do, no. I'm a doctor, if I seriously wanted to kill myself we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation right now."

"Good point. You know I need to ask. Do you need any time off?"

"Just a couple of days and then I'll be back to normal."

"Right, well I'll book you in for a session with Ben upstairs and then you can choose to go back or not and he won't tell me either way."

"Thanks Connie."

"Zoe I'm sorry I didn't pick up on this. I noticed that you were tired and distracted but I just put that down to newlywed bliss and I guess I had noticed you weren't really eating but I didn't suspect..."

"It's fine, you know what I'm like, if you'd asked I would've said I was fine" She smiled and in that moment there was an understanding between the two doctors. While they may never be best friends neither would want to see the other in difficulty.

"Everything ok?" Max asked returning with a snack for Zoe.

"Yeah, fine, you smell great" she smiled, breathing in the smell of his last cigarette.

"Rest up and when they say I can take you home I'll treat you to one."

"Oooft you spoil me." They both laughed and in that moment it was like old times.

It wasn't long before Connie returned to let them know that they could head home. "Max?"

"Yes Mrs Beauchamp?"

"You're off for the next couple of days as well, paid of course, I cleared it with the Hospital Services Manager."

"Thanks!" He turned to pick up Zoe's things and Zoe mouthed "Thank you" to her boss.

"Right you two get home. Plenty of rest and nothing too strenuous for 24hrs and make sure to get plenty to eat and drink."

"Let's get you into bed Mrs Walker", Max said pushing the door open to their flat.

"I thought you'd never ask Mr Walker." She giggled and kissed him on the lips, grabbing his shirt and drawing him nearer to her as she stepped backwards towards their bedroom.

"Steady on Zo, Mrs B said nothing too strenuous."

"Shut up and fuck me." The seriousness of her tone caught him off guard.

"Zoe… Slow down… I don't know if…"

"Max I need you. I need your body." She kissed him again, pushing him up against the wall in their hallway now, pulling at his shirt and then running her hands down to unbutton his trousers. He groaned as she ran her hand over his crotch, feeling him wanting her.

"Not here, what about Dylan?" Once again she shushed him, this time with her kiss. "Zoe, Dylan could walk in at any minute."

"He's been home for hours, he'll be asleep." She was breathless now and desperate for him to make love to her. Gently he pushed her back fastened his trousers and picked her up before headed to their bedroom where just hours before he had been packing up his belongings. Thankfully Dylan had tidied up for them before Zoe got home and the pile of things Max had been leaving behind had been moved.

He laid her down on their bed and got on top of her kissing her neck, moving back to let her remove her clothes. Internally he was nervous, he was terrified he wouldn't be able to perform. His breath caught in his throat as Zoe pulled her top off and pulled him down on to her. Kissing her passionately he gently ran his hands down her sides, her ribcage slightly more visible than before, down to her newly prominent hip bones. Renowned for her curves it shocked him to see her this thin.

"Zoe, I... I should've..."

"Shhh, it's ok, I'm ok" she whispered into his neck before biting down on it as she reached down to undo his trousers for the second time. After undressing each other and taking time to enjoy being in each other's company once more, Max's fears came true. He slipped inside his wife for the first time in their married life and within a minute it was all over.

"Zo, I'm sorry" he panted collapsing on top of her.

" As long as you're going to make it up to me next time you're forgiven." She giggled before adding "besides if I was you I probably wouldn't be able to hold it either."

"I'm mortified" he rolled over and covered his face with the duvet. She gently pulled it back and kissed him on the lips. "Don't be, I'm flattered."

Zoe woke up to Max kissing her neck a couple of hours later. "I could try making it up to you" he flirted seeing her stirring.

"That's the best way I've been woken up for a while." She rolled over to allow him to kiss her and before long things had got very heated.

"uh, Max, slow down." She panted, feeling how close he was getting. "That feels so good... Don't stop..." It was as if the last two words had instantly flicked a switch and it was all over, leaving her frustrated for the second time in one night. This time there was no apology, he just kissed her gently on the lips, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Grabbing her dressing gown she got up and headed to the kitchen and put the kettle on. A door opened and closed again through the flat and she heard Dylan coming towards her.

"Cup of tea?" she asked.

"Yeah, please."

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No there were a couple of lovers keeping me awake" he said with a knowing smile but from the reaction from his friend he soon realised all was not as it seemed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's embarrassing."

"I'm sure I'll have heard worse." That raised a smile from Zoe and she bit her lip as she began to explain.

"I think he's still punishing me and I don't know if he even realises. He's never not made me… you know… and I got really close the second time, told him, then he just finished and rolled over. I just want it to be like before."

"It's going to take time. And it's moving in the right direction. Try not to overthink it. He may just be out of practice." Dylan poured the boiled water into the two cups and watched as the tea diffused through it. Without looking up he added "you can always talk to me about anything, you know that right?"

"Of course and you can always talk to me." Dylan screwed up his face at this ludicrous suggestion and the two friends laughed at the idea.

"Right you, get back to bed, your husband will be wondering where you've gone."

Dylan had put everything in perspective, she just had to be patient.

"Morning gorgeous!" She'd woken up to Max playing with her fringe and watching her sleep.

"Morning," stretching she asked what the time was.

"It doesn't matter, we're both off today remember?!" He pulled her towards him and she rested her head on his chest.

"You're allowed to still be angry you know." She whispered to him, almost afraid of his reaction but more afraid of not allowing him that.

"I'm done with being angry, I never stopped loving you and I think it was that that was messing me up. I wanted to be angry but deep down I wasn't. I was just hurt."

"I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet but more sincere than he'd ever known her to be. She started planting little kisses all over his bare chest and then worked her way down, over the faint line of hair that rose up to his belly button until she heard the familiar sharp intake of breath. A grin spread across her face as she pulled the duvet off them both to allow him to watch what she was about to do.

"Wow, that was amazing." He cuddled his wife and kissed her forehead. "Shall I return the favour?" She bit her bottom lip and looked at him with her big, innocent eyes and he knew the answer to his question.

"Thank you" were the words she uttered to break the silence some time later. Lying there together, on that morning, she finally felt things were like before. Before she sabotaged the best thing she had in her life.


End file.
